“Inverted Triangle Body” by Arina Alam
Author Foreword:
Arina Parmir Alam is 29 year old transgender woman who lives in Gramsalika, a small village in West Bengal. Her family identified her as a boy when she was born and call her Kabir, a boy’s name. She eventually became convinced that gender transition was absolutely necessary for her to achieve peace of mind.
A simple remark can raise the whirl of those anxious worms.
A simple gesture of laughter can feed those worms, my groundhog days like green leaves.
I am an inverted triangle Body
Not a hourglass, not even a pear
I don't even fit in the square.
A simple body, an abode of the soul
That's scrutinized by conventional lenses.
Oblong head, broad shoulders
Tiny legs are declared not so feminine.
Asymmetrical eyes , thin lips,
Protruding chins are not so feline.
A Whimsical art created by The God.
A revolt against the conventional Beauty Rules.
The thread of conventional beauty standards sits upon my neck and suffocates my breath.
I explain daily to my therapist:
How many weird stares have passed, how many jokes have been cracked, how many questions have been raised about my gender identity.
I pop pills to accept my body.
I let them dissect my body
like a frog on morphine.
Half unconscious in dreams for a desirable mold.
A dying wish to fit in,
A whispered prayer for a miracle to happen.
